Why do I run?

I was given this poem by my HS coach.  I have referred to it often as it has helped me through some tough times.  I now have two kids that run HS XC country and you can only "coach" running to an extent.  Running is 90% mental.  The original hangs in my kitchen for every day viewing - for them and for me.

I won't say it defined me when I was a 16 yr old HS runner and just wanted to hang out with my friends - but it helped me when I was a college runner, in the years of marriage and children and aging and death of friends that were WAY to young - it defines me every day now.

For that reason - this man gave me a gift.  And I am forever grateful.

WHY DO I RUN?

WHY DO I RUN? 

THOSE WHO DON’T CAN’T UNDERSTAND.

THE PAIN IS REAL EVERYDAY.

IS IT EASIER NOW? NOT REALLY –

THE SAME PAIN I FELT THE FIRST DAY I BEGAN.

ONLY EASIER TO COVER GREATER DISTANCES

IN SHORTER AMOUNTS OF TIME.

THE PAIN IS THE SAME AND I UNDERSTAND IT ALWAYS WILL BE.

I DREAD IT, AND IN A SENSE I CRAVE IT.

WHY DO I RUN?

TO STAY IN SHAPE, TO KEEP MY HEALTH,

TO FEEL BETTER – 

ALL PARTIAL REASONS, I SUPPOSE.

THE REAL REASON IS CONFIRMATION –

CONFIRMATION THAT I AM IN CONTROL.

EVERY DAY I MUST MAKE A CHOICE –

A CHOICE TO EXPERIENCE PAIN AND DISCOMFORT IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE A HIGHER GOAL.

OR TO GIVE IN TO THE BODY’S URGING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE MORE COMFORTING AND PLEASURABLE.

WHO IS IN CONTROL? MY BODY OR ME?

EVERY TIME I RUN, I VERIFY TO ME THAT I AM IN CONTROL

AND THAT I CAN BE THE MASTER OF MY OWN DESTINY.

THAT IS ULTIMATELY WHY I RUN.

I FEEL GUILTY WHEN I DON’T RUN – WHEN THE BODY WINS.

RUNNING IS A TEST OF MY STRENGTH –

NOT JUST MY PHYSICAL –

BUT MY MENTAL.

RUNNING IS A CHALLENGE OF MY “WILL” – 

OF MIND OVER MATTER

OF ME AGAINST MYSELF.

RUNNING IS MENTAL CONDITIONING AS WELL AS PHYSICAL.

IT’S THERAPY OF THE “WILL” FOR ME.

EACH RUN IS SUCCESS –

THE RICHEST AND MOST DEEPLY SATISFYING.

STRANGELY BUT UNMISTAKINGLY TIED TO SELF-DISCIPLINE, SELF-DENIAL AND SELF-CONTROL.

IN A WORLD WHERE I OFTEN FEEL HELPLESS, VICTIMIZED AND CONTROLLED,

RUNNING HELPS REVIVE FEELINGS OF HOPE, STRENGTH AND CONVICTION

THAT I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND I CAN BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ME.

AN ADDICTION YOU SAY AND YOU’RE RIGHT –

THERE’S A DANGER.

SO LONG AS I “CHOOSE,” 

THE VALUE REMAINS TRUE AND REAL;

SO LONG AS I CONTROL RUNNING AND RUNNING DOES NOT CONTROL ME.

POSITIVE ADDICTION OR NOT, THE VALUE IS IN CHOOSING.

WHEN THE CHOICE IS GONE, I BECOME CONTROLLED AND VICTIMIZED AGAIN.

ON MORE THING IN MY LIFE THAT TELLS ME I AM NOT IN CONTROL,

THAT I AM SIMPLY A PAWN OF FATE AND CIRCUMSTANCE.

I MUST RUN AS A CHOICE,

NOT OUT OF NECESSITY OR IT’S REAL VALUE IS GONE FOR ME.

WHY DO I RUN?

I RUN FOR SUCCESS,

SUCCESS IN THE ULTIMATE CONTEST –

THE CONTEST OF ME AGAINST MYSELF.